How to look beyond the surface?

Staying on the surface should be your priority only if you suck at swimming.

Things done without depth are like smoking flavoured vape.

You get the feeling that you’re smoking, but until you don’t get the full potential of lung damage, what’s the point?

Be it, people, profession or passion, without depth, everything feels empty. We are here searching for meaning, and without connecting to something, being passionate about something, we’ll waste the precious limited time we have here.

I know I’m passionate about writing and if I won’t write, I’ll have all these bubbled emotions that’ll explode in the metro when a mother will try to squeeze her kid by my side.

It’s about being genuinely interested in people rather than being happy that you two love the same K-drama.

It all starts with the world around us more than what’s inside us. We don’t have a sense of self until we’re 8.

Our environment shapes us. How are we influenced? Let’s examine.

The exterior

When we’re young, we couldn’t care less about what the person is from inside as long as they skip the class with us and bully the same nerd in the classroom for studying 18 hours a day with books in his mouth.

As we grow up, our world defines our perspective for us. Most of us get into the crowd; few can break away from it.

The first thing that society, knowingly or unknowingly, fits into our pea-sized heads is the value of beauty or the exterior.

How beautiful can everything be.

How that slim photoshopped model is on the cover of a magazine, how it’s important to drive a nice car so people think good of us and how buying expensive shit gets us validation.

So, our quest begins where we start to filter things out. We tend to look for a good partner, a handsome car, and expensive clothes to give Kanye West a run for his money.

That’s how the exterior beauty shapes our minds, and we move towards the unfair advantage some of us are born with.

Unfair advantage

All of us are not born equally. Some can afford ₹1,00,000 ticket to watch Justin Beiber lip-sync while others might sleep empty stomach.

There is unfair advantage at play.

Someone born in a wealthy family has a better opportunity to screw the environment than a dude working 9-5 and hating his job.

Some look better than others, which gives them an unfair advantage, too, when it comes to the people they meet or how their lives are shaped.

Getting compliments and their way around for something they didn’t control is the most significant unfair advantage someone can have.

So, on the surface, they look good.

But if somebody decides to deep dive into their personality, it won’t be different from any other person.

All they’ll find is a pool of problems that’ll make them a difficult person to love, adore or even be with.

That’s why we are 7 billion idiots. (Depending on when you read this article, maybe we’re a 100 gazillion.)

Reaching the middle part

We need to get past the honeymoon phase to look beyond the surface.

The real journey of getting to know someone begins after that. That’s when we get to know to little quirks of their personalinites, their deep secrets, the way they deal with a situation and a lot more.

It’s easy to start something, it’s easy to end something if you’ve made up your mind, but the most difficult is the middle part.

The only people we think of as normal are ones we don’t know yet.

Alain de Botton

Getting through it, doing something every day.

You won’t find a story of someone who was there for each other for 30 years on even the 10th page, but if Jeff Bezos’ wife decides to leave him because she got the wrong delivery and in return, she demands $250 billion for it, it’s a front page news.

We are result oriented

Putting hours in making something dull every day doesn’t sound glorious.

We’re result-oriented. We couldn’t care less about the process of something.

But that’s how best things are made, developing processes.

I got into this weird shithole too when I started using Twitter too much, thinking I’d receive inspiration from following people who are better than me so that I can learn from them.

And before I knew it, I was self-loathing for not having written three books already, having 15 passive incomes, bootstrapping five companies and not being a UX designer having $50k MRR.

So, it’s easy to look at their final tweets where they declared what they’ve achieved.

But, unfortunately, I missed their journey, several failed businesses, frustration, and ‘boring’ working hours, which nobody would like to imitate. Make me successful already.

When it comes to work, we need to look beyond the surface as well.

What writing means to me

I started taking writing more seriously when I realised that there is no shortcut to becoming a writer than to pick my laptop up and write the shit down. (It’s 1:44 am and I’m too focused to stop).

I realised that the more I’ll read, more I’ll write and more I’ll write, the better I’ll get at it.

So to keep my writing habit going, instead of just posting this weekly blogs, I started writing on Twitter as well, daily. Follow me there.

We’ll always be bombarded with headlines that’ll make us feel inadequate. The only way is to be passionate about something and focus less on the noise around us.

It doesn’t need to be just one thing. You can be vigorous about creating stuff, about your work, play guitar and getting your dog into beauty pageants.

The point being, just get started and look beyond the surface.

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