How to not be repulsive to change

A massive chunk of the population is reluctant to change. 

These people resist switching jobs, changing cities, dumping that toxic partner, and changing the sofa after its been broken five times because they had steamy pillow fights on it, which still reminds them of their golden days. 

They repel change; they resist change and run away from it. 

They resist it more than that ripped gym guy with the perfect stubble beard who can’t stand the idea of you eating a big fat cheese burrito gettin’ all dirty in sauces and cheese falling between your fingers. 

Okay, I’m hungry now. I’ll get a burrito. You hydrate yourself. 

Eating a burrito like…

So, where was I? 

Yeah, reluctant to change.

We’re habit maniacs. We spend our lives on autopilot, and we are pretty happy to live the rest of our lives doing the same thing every day. 

I believe that’s a fantastic thing we well. Immanuel Kant lived on routine to such an extent that people could tell the time by his movements and the activities he performed. Super punctual and systematic, which some of us can only dream of being. 

We’re not as genius as Immanuel Kant. Only a few make a routine in this world of distractions and stick to it. At least not the people my age. Those who do, let me know how you do it. Contact me here.

So this life of doing the same things every day might intrigue you or make you run away like a dude with cargo pants in 2021, but the resistance observed among us regarding change is quite surprising. 

What makes us repel change so much has a few reasons; let’s explore them like a kid with Christmas gifts, one by one:

  1. Losing control

Our biggest fear in life is not in control of a situation. When things are not on autopilot, we are the pilots of our lives, which means we love to be in control of things. The minute the situation controls us, we break a little and pee our pants. 

We are in an age of self-promotion, and nobody can promote themselves when they’re at a weak point in life because we are hungry for overnight success stories. 

And ironically, we connect more to the people who try and fail than someone who built a company from scratch and picked up 20 rounds of funding because they want to add mint in your ice cream and make it a cold toothpaste for some reason. That’s what we aim for, but that’s not what we are. 

These are the people we look up to because they have leadership qualities; they control the situation like a manipulative ex and are not governed by it like a manipulative ex!? Weirdly, it fits both ways, and maybe it’s a tale of two toxic lovers. Anyway…

The idea that a change can lead to us losing control of the situation gives us anxiety. We are meant to be adaptable, and when we don’t adapt, we lose out on many things in life. 

Back in 2007, when the iPhone was launched, companies that didn’t think the iPhone would revolutionize the mobile market went out of business faster than Sonal Chauhan’s career. 

Those who adapted stayed in business, and the rest are telling their kids not to be on their phones too long. 

  1. The unpredictability 

Unpredictability is enough for us not to take action at all. Change feels like a game of Russian roulette; that’s why we don’t even play it. 

We’d rather stay in misery than head to an unknown situation. It’s all around us; people are scared of not knowing enough and feeling the weight of the whole world on their shoulders. 

  1. Lots of surprises! 

When we move towards a change or when change moves towards us, we are like Vin Diesel and Paul walker from the song ‘See You Again,’ we depart, and we are heading towards something new. I know what that video represents, but you get the point. 

A change can have lots of surprises. 

Would the change be like a mansion full of 20 golden retrievers and a soulmate for you, or you’d have Gordon Ramsey as your chef calling you a stupid arse every time you ask him to cook? Nobody knows. 

There’s a probability always. And we are scared to take a risk, but sometimes we should let ourselves be driven by the universal force. Who doesn’t like surprises?! I know some people don’t, but others do (only when they’re informed that they’re going to be surprised. Shhh).

Let’s say there’s a job offer that wants you to relocate to New York. Your first response might be no because the level of uncertainty is higher than the chances of snowfall in Delhi. But when you look at the upsides, New York is the concrete jungle where dreams are made of—made of what? Nobody knows. Maybe inequality. 

So, you deciding to relocate is the first step you can take to embrace change and hug it out. 

But amid that uncertainty, you should let yourself go. 

  1. Challenging your inner self

Are you someone who’d face change head to head? Or you’ll stay where you are? Let’s start a conversation. 

People stay in the dead-end job with no productivity and respect, people staying in relationships that have lost meanings ages ago, and friendships that are causing them nothing but pain. 

But they’ve been told that staying is courage and leaving is cowardly. Not in all cases, and you don’t need to be in a place where things have become transactional with no respect. 

You’ll get back everything exterior and materialistic. Unless you gambled away your yacht to spend a day with Taylor swift’s dog because then, that isn’t coming back, for sure.

But once we lose self-respect, that’s a difficult one to recover, and it’s essential to protect it at any cost. 

  1. Sticking to our current self 

You must have seen people who do stuff and then justify it with, “that’s the way I’m.” 

I mean, yes, they’re no less than an old tree in a forest. They can’t move, can’t change, and any kind of behavior is allowed in the name of that. 

We all have the habit of putting ourselves into a category and surrounding ourselves with people who’ll validate that category. 

For example, if someone believes that cheating in a relationship is okay, they’ll find a peer group where all the people think that cheating is acceptable. Before you know it, you have a cheater gang in the town creating havoc, and parents start locking up their children. 

When we put our personalities in a box, we’re rigid towards change. People in their 40s say they’re too old to study, people in their 30s say it’s too late to switch fields and someone in their 50s says it’s too late to marry. 

But what they mean is, they are comfortable in the seat with their ass print on it. The new seat will not recognize them and the new partner will nauseate them. 

We never grow out of this, people hurt someone by saying something unnecessary, quite bluntly, and when they protest, they’ll say the golden words, “that’s how we are.”

And if you ask them to change? You’re in for a treat, my friend. 

All you’ll hear is, “What did you say? Change yourself? Are you implying that a part of my personality is not good enough for someone? Well, they can get a cactus and sit on it. I’m the way I’m. 

I’m not adjustable, and I’m a rock. I’ll be the way I’m. And next time, don’t say things like change yourself. I’ll definitely take a bazooka and fire it on you in your sleep. 

Then you go back to being quiet, and that’s the best way to deal with it. 

The only constant in this life is change and that’s what has been happening ever since. Evolution. Changing world, changing thoughts, changing processes.

We’re here to evolve, to make things better or worse but to change the form of it in some way. So, change might not make you the happiest person on earth, but it can bring humility. If everything will be planned, things will be boring. 

There’s something in not knowing: uncertainty forces us to get out of our comfrot zone and aim for stars. Those who stay in their comfort zone, remain there forever. 

Sahil Sachdeva

Blogger. Digital marketing executive.

And a lot more if you’re curious enough to know.

Read the previous blog: The confidence paradox

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