For taking things personally

We are the star of our world. 

In our minds, everything is about us. We have a Lego land that we made up entirely from scratch. We are the architects, the owner, and the ruler of that land. 

It’s our imaginary world; we can be anything there, so why not be in the limelight all the time, right?  At times life isn’t fair to us. Sometimes we don’t get a seat in the metro because that annoying kid can’t decide if it wants to sit or not, or the day we want to go to the gym, it rains (thank God). 

Whatever happens, be it someone stood us up, or talked to us rudely, or said no to us about something, we tend to take it personally. 

I used to struggle with this a lot. I used to think it always has something to do with me. At times, it did, but most of the time, just like the time you felt that girl would fall for you, and it’ll work like a climax of a Disney movie, it didn’t. 

We don’t take a second before we start to assume what a self-righteous piece of shit the other person is for being the way they are and how dare they behave like that with us.

It feels terrible to be stood up, talked rudely to, or rejected at something no matter what. 

For taking things personally, I had to constantly tell myself that another person might be in a middle of a crisis that I don’t know about. I had to say to myself not to take things personally.

Most of the time, life isn’t even about us. And why?

Our mind puts us in the never-ending limelight.

Since the day we’re born, our parents revolve their life around us, and we are given way too much importance (maybe not with everyone), but the day we end up in the real world, we realize we’re not that special anymore.

Some people have been treated with even more attention in their childhood. And then we meet these people whom we believe will listen to us with patience and sincerity, and boom, there goes a pin in our first bubble. 📌

So, I had to swallow a hard pill that if someone is rude to me, it’s usually more about them and less about me, unless I stole their coin collection and threw it in the wishing well.

I told myself that it’s not about me. (And while writing this, I had an epiphany, what if my mind is in a delusion that it’s not about me and more about them. What if this is my escapism? But as I’m the writer of this article and you’re the reader, please continue to read this. I’ll try to turn off my inner voices).

What people do with me has nothing to do with me but what they are made of. Similarly the way I treat people is more about how I’ve been raised and what circumstances I’ve been through.

The way they see life, the way they deal with their problems; if they see life outwards & blame the circumstances or take a look inside & try to fix it, and what they are going through at the moment, which I’m not aware of. 

It’s challenging to be in the mindset where you think that another person might be going through something, but as I said, it’s a process.

You’d have to train yourself. Maybe the person doesn’t want to spill it in front of you, which shouldn’t mean you should not understand them. 

The route not taken (or taken, I guess) 

It doesn’t take much to sympathize. I’m quite a non-sympathetic person; that’s why I wanted to write something for the crazy heads like me out there. Yes, I’m there for you all. Or am I?

I can assure you that when it comes to problems, many people prefer the common National Fugitive Highway 44 that is the best route if you want to run away from your pain. 

But if you’re anyone who likes to stay under control, you’ll take up the Super Sane Avenue, which will take to the road with a mirror in the dead-end where all your mistakes will be written in glitters for you to realize and you’ll be given a chance to introspect and contemplate. 

If you took the Super Sane Avenue, there’s a pretty good chance that you’ll end up sympathizing because it takes a lot to come to peace with yourself, be it some other individual.

If you can forgive yourself, you can forgive others too. 

When you forgive yourself, you’ll understand that minor changes to the approach can change a lot; a shift In perspective can bring wonders. 

You’ll understand that if someone is denying you something or being rude to you, then it might not be about you but their own issues they cannot deal with. Sympathize with them too (not too much, please and not on the face) 

Just feel sorry for them, ignore them, or tell them to fuck off if they’re a reason for your migraine. 

2 thoughts on “For taking things personally

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